What to do when your horse says "no."
Toby was pretty clear about it! If you watch our last reel, you’ll see that we took Toby and Roisin, tow of our older horses (both mid-thirties) out for a walk. They LOVED it! But, Toby was pretty clear that he didn’t want to turn in for home when we reached the farm track…
I thought this video was so interesting to show:
What it can look like when horses are expressing an opinion.So often, and very sadly, horses who show any opinions are labelled as ‘naughty’, ‘stubborn’, ‘nappy’, ‘bad’ etc. And then often punished for it. This can lead to them either expressing everything much more forcefully and becoming ‘dangerous’ (Toby’s history), or shutting down completely and offering no opinions at all (Roisin’s history). Of course, we don’t want that AT ALL. We want horses who feel calm, happy and confident to share with us how they feel, what they think, their ideas and preferences and so on. That’s what makes a fulfilling relationship.But, what do we do when they say some version of ‘no’?
How to have a conversation about it positively.One of the biggest fears people have about positive reinforcement training is that they will have no tools when their horse says no. “But what do you do when they HAVE to do something?” is so often asked.This is a big topic, but once piece to remember is that ‘no’ is not always a ‘definitely not, no way, never, NO.’ It’s often a ‘I’m not sure… I’d prefer… I don’t understand. It’s a bit tricky. But can’t we…?’ We have to find a way to have a conversation through it. Toby and I have been partners for a long time, so we know each other well, and this conversation was about something as wonderful as him not wanting to go home yet. But, it’s still interesting to see how we communicated through it.
Is this a question or concern you have? Or maybe had when you started? How do you navigate this with your horse?
For an in-depth video on dealing with horses saying, ‘no’, you can check this one out, with lots of real-life examples: • Understanding Choice, Communication a...
