Ever feel your head spin when you're trying to express your feelings, thoughts, wants, or needs to a Hijackal? Of course, you have. That's because they are masters of this phenomena know as WhatAboutIsm or WhatAboutery. It's a powerful defense and deflection strategy narcissists use to confuse! Learn what it sounds like because you already know what it feels like. When you recognize it and name it for yourself, you can refuse to play along with it again.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
Why Hijackals® use whataboutism
What "whataboutism" is and how it is defined
How whataboutism a dysfunctional defense mechanism
How whataboutism creates an instant double standard
Why hypocrites practice whataboutism
What to do in the moment that you recognize whataboutism is happening
The Hijackals defense mechanisms can be SO infuriating and frustrating. There SO many defense mechanisms It's crazy-making, and whataboutism is one of the most crazy-making. Learn more about that in this episode...and, what to do in the face of it.
01:08 Projection, defense mechanisms, toxic relationships, empowerment.
04:26 Skillful evasion through counteraccusation and diversion.
07:57 Ignoring past abuse, deflecting blame; changing subjects.
10:56 Whataboutery discredits opponents; Hijackals prevent equality.
13:17 Circular conversations, hijackles, reversal of accusations.
16:31 "Relationships with Hijackals attract more Hijackals."
20:31 Change towards equality, but met with resistance.
24:58 Avoid blame, shame, or guilt conversations in relationships.
26:55 Big picture: patterns, traits, cycles, clarity. Techniques to respond effectively.
34:51 Empathy is important but can be tricky.
39:10 Hijackals only care about winning.
41:10 "Leaving toxic relationships can be difficult."
56:04 Important phrase: not participating in own pain.
* Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
and toxic relationships can be at home, at work, at play... with your parent, boss, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker.
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I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
Are you in relationship with a Hijackal? That's someone who consistently puts you down, love-bombs and gaslights you, creates confusion and chaos, and causes you to second-guess yourself? I can help you recognize, understand, and make decisions about those kinds of narcissistic behavior…and especially, how to keep yourself (and your children) safe and sane.
No worries about where in the world you live. I work through private, secure video conferencing. So, we can certainly work together to figure a few things out.
CONNECT WITH ME:
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Are you looking for relief from the pain, confusion and drama of toxic relationships? I can help.
You can reclaim your personal power. Keep watching my videos on YouTube to find strategies for changing your relationship dynamics.
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Join my Emerging Empowered Community, online:
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