How Does St. Louis Do It? (We Got Range)
How Does St. Louis Do It?
How does St. Louis do it?
The good, the bad, and the strange…
A hundred-five in summertime,
winters five-below
We hit the soaring highs
and we bite the bitter lows.
The most free attractions outside DC,
great for families, traffic’s a breeze,
we lead the US in STD’s.
We tend to be friendly, cliquish at first
generally generous, down-to-earth
Artsy, liberal, exceptionally literate
sometimes our public schools get unaccredited.
Hosted Olympics, hosted riots
mostly hosted economic decline
as half our big companies moved overseas
we started the fastest growing startup scene.
Manufacturing, healthcare, research, biomedical
we make a cheese that’s debatably edible
Twenty percent of the cast of The Office knows
Budweiser’s king, but InBev is boss,
If it’s dead on a plate, we pour barbecue sauce on it
Frozen custard, soul food, slingers, gooey butter cake,
toasted ravioli ’til you drop,
then we’ll restart your heart
at our top-ranking hospital.
(Loo-ou) How does St. Louis do it? (Doo-oo)
the good, the bad, and the strange (we got range)
We got range
Strange
how it can be so great
to land on your feet when you fall on your face.
We got range.
Learn to brew, play some chess
Our zoo is one of the planet’s best, peruse
museums full of art and botanical gardens,
the largest mosaic collection
of all on the continent
the tallest monument on Earth
an 11,000-seater musical theater
see Broadway under the stars (Saint Louie!)
then visit this ancient civilization…
Why’s it right next to a strip club?
Way back when river travel was all people cared about
We built the fourth largest town in America
mecca of culture and industry
but we epically mismanaged it.
Ever since then we’ve thrived in the ruins thereof
Singin’ the blues and spreadin’ the love
from Scott Joplin, rap, Miles Davis, and soul
Hail! Hail! Rock ’n’ Roll!
Two centuries! Earthquake-free!
The most World Series wins in the National League
love our NHL, but how in the hell
does one city lose four different NFL teams, I mean…
win or lose, we turn out regardless
best Mardi Gras party this side of N’Awlins
Transit is lackin’, our airport’s appallin’
when steamboats come back though, you know we’ll be ballin’ then.
(Loo-ou) How does St. Louis do it? (Doo-oo)
the good, the bad, and the strange (we got range)
We got range
Strange
how it can be so great
to land on your feet when you fall on your face.
We got range.
No pedestrians downtown,
after five, it’s a ghost town,
our city is weirdly decentralized
Lemme tell ya li'l story bout how that happened….
In 1876, St. Louis city seceded from the surrounding county
strangling the region, one day isolating
downtown from the suburbs, creating cultural gaps
inflating crime stats, dividing the tax base
into ninety-one distinct municipalities
which is kinda cool because the neighborhoods have lotsa personality,
but sucks ‘cuz the governments compete for the funding
coming from traffic stops, pressurizing the cops
adding confrontations with citizens that are fiscally incentivized
on top of the fact that we’re totally racially polarized
So yeah, we got a long way to go, there’s lotsa hurdles
but at least for now we have gigantic turtles!
(Loo-ou) How does St. Louis do it? (Doo-oo)
the good, the bad, and the strange (we got range)
We got range
Strange
how it can be so great
to land on your feet when you fall on your face.
We got range.
You ever notice
people from St. Louis
like to talk about St. Louis?
makin’ other people feel strange….
make ‘em say, “Why you talk about St. Louis so much? It’s weird….”
I don’t know…. we just love it.
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