Cartman Denies Being Under Alien Control - SOUTH PARK
Aliens kill Kenny, but Cartman is still in denial.
"Cartman Gets an Anal Probe" S01
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About South Park: South Park is the Emmy and Peabody-award winning animated series co-created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone about four boys living in one screwed-up Colorado mountain town. Between local and global tragedies, as well as parental and celebrity interference, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny manage to have themselves a time.
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CARTMAN
You guys shut up, I’m not under alien
control.
Kyle walks up to Cartman's ear and starts screaming in
it.
KYLE (cont’d)
HEY!! IF YOU VISITORS CAN HEAR ME --
BRING ME BACK MY LITTLE BROTHER GOD
DAMMIT!
CARTMAN
Ow! That hurts, you butt licker!
Suddenly, a small alien scout ship flies by.
STAN
KYLE, LOOK! It's them!
Kyle picks a rock up off the ground.
KYLE
GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER!
Kyle throws the rock at the UFO. DING! The UFO stops and
fires a yellow ray at the boys.
The ray hits Kenny, and blows him back several yards.
Kenny lands with a horrible bone breaking CRUNCH!
STAN
Oh my God!! They killed Kenny!
KYLE
YOU BASTARDS!! COME BACK HERE!! COME
BAAAAACK!
But the little UFO's disappear into the sky.
KYLE (cont’d)
DAMMIT! We were so close!
STAN
Hey, look - I think Kenny’s okay!
Kenny manages to pick himself up off the ground. He looks
pretty bad, but he might be-
Just then the cows come stampeding through and run over
Kenny.
KENNY
Mff mrrr mph
VWOOM!! Officer Barbrady’s car races through frame and
runs over Kenny.
The boys walk over to Kenny's bleeding body.
STAN
Wow, poor Kenny.
KYLE
Now do you believe us Cartman?
CARTMAN
No!
STAN
Cartman, they KILLED Kenny!
CARTMAN
He’s not dead.
STAN
Dude, Kenny is dead! See?!
CARTMAN
Shut up, you guys.
KYLE
(Pulling Kenny’s head off)
He’s DEAD, Cartman.
CARTMAN
GOD DAMMIT I DIDN'T HAVE AN ANAL
PROBE!!!
There is a long pause.
CARTMAN (cont’d)
Screw you guys, I'm going home!
Cartman walks away.
KYLE
Go on and go home you Fat Chicken!
CARTMAN
(O.S.)
Dildo!
KYLE
You're all I have left, Stan.
STAN
Sorry dude, I gotta go meet Wendy
Testaburger.
KYLE
You can't! Poor Ike must be so
scared... Up there all alone... You
gotta help me dude!
STAN
Dude, like Chef says, I gotta get a
piece of loving while the gettin's
hot.
Stan walks away.
Rats come into frame and feast on Kenny’s dead body.
KYLE (cont’d)
Rats!
