why asian parents don't say i love you (a deep dive)
Why do Asian parents never say "I love you"? Well, it turns out there's more to this phenomenon than just "actions over words."
0:00 Intro
2:30 Exploring cultural differences in using "I Love You"
13:06 Love, social hierarchy and power dynamics
20:56 A future where asian parents say i love you more?
25:25 Conclusion
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References
Ahhhh I enjoyed reading up on all the research for this video so much, if I had to recommend one paper to read from the list it would be Potter's work!! She made a lot of insightful and heartbreaking observations on the repression of emotion as she observed rural Chinese villagers, and she had such incredible comparisons of cultural differences in saying i love you between China and America. Such a good read!
Academic references
Caldwell-Harris, C., Kronrod, A. and Yang, J. (2013). Do more, say less: Saying ‘I love you’ in Chinese and American cultures. Intercultural Pragmatics, 10(1). doi:https://doi.org/10.1515/ip-2013-0002.
Hsu, F. L. K. (1981). Americans and Chinese: Passage to differences (3rd ed.). Honolulu, HI: University of Hawaii Press.
Potter, S.H. (1988). The Cultural Construction of Emotion in Rural Chinese Social Life. Ethos, 16(2), pp.181–208. doi:https://doi.org/10.1525/eth.1988.16.2....
Wilkins, R. and Gareis, E. (2006). Emotion expression and the locution ‘I love you’: A cross-cultural study. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 30(1), pp.51–75. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.20....
Yum, J.O. (1988). The impact of Confucianism on interpersonal relationships and communication patterns in east Asia. Communication Monographs, 55(4), pp.374–388. doi:https://doi.org/10.1080/0363775880937....
Sources
Chung, C. (2014). Why Chinese parents don’t say I love you. [online] The Sydney Morning Herald. Available at: https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life....
edu.sina.com.cn. (2014). 外媒看中国：为什么中国家庭不说‘我爱你’. [online] Available at: https://edu.sina.com.cn/en/2014-02-26...
Grego, R. (2022). Saying ‘I love you’ across cultures: Personal intimacy in High/Low Context Cultures - Infinite Discoveries. [online] Available at: https://infinitediscoveries.org/sayin...
Lander.edu. (2018). The Main Concepts of Confucianism. [online] Available at: https://philosophy.lander.edu/orienta....
Video references
Steven Lim: • Asian Parents React To I Love You (OR...
TreeMan: • Surprise Calling Parents to Say "I Lo...
Arirang news: / @arirangcokrarirangnews
BGM
Demxntia - say "i love you" • demxntia - say “i love you”
Liszt's Liebestraum No. 3 lofi version by D. Park: • Lofi Classical - Liszt's Liebestraum ...
Yellow - Coldplay (Cover by Si Mun x Jarron, orig. Chinese cover by Katherine Ho) • Yellow - Katherine Ho (Crazy Rich Asi...
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Tags:
video essay, cultural commentary, social commentary, internet analysis, analysis video, asian parents, i love you, love, expressions of love, love languages, acts of service, words of affirmation, east asia, sociocultural essay, verbal expression, love through actions, cultural norms, parenting styles, asian parents, asian culture, asian family, cultural differences, bicultural upbringing, asian diaspora, asian values, nonverbal communication, asian communication styles, emotional expression, cultural beliefs, filial piety, traditional parenting, confucianism, china, korea, japan, chinese culture, korean culture, japanese culture, asian relationships, parent child relationship, asian parenting, cultural expectations, asian traditions, intergenerational relationships, parental love, east asian cultures, edvasian, rotten mango, mina le, gabi belle, not even emily, chinese with mia, kookielit
